Why are all orthodontists and dentists either evil, sadists, or both?
:
promise me if YOU ever become one, don't say (as you're tightening wires or pulling teeth, "oh, you'll love me sooo much more after this one.....oh yea?...yea...?! you like that?!!"

second note: why do parents get crazier everytime you go home?
:she says, (one day as they pass a lady with a dog), "I should take a remote control car, attach the car to the dog's NECK, and see if it follows my commands by the remote"
:"um..that's crazy mom"
:"no,..it's not. ..then..we can see the brain of the car and the brain of the dog FIGHT it out!"
:"do you HEAR the words coming out of your mouth?"

third note: a trip to the apothecary is rarely a waste.
: much like scribes and farmers, apothecaries are always without a doubt very interesting people.
: so megan said she wants some essential oils. i said forget the oil, let's just go pick bay leaves and eucalyptus leaves. no no,..she needs the oil, she said. so we go to the little hole in the wall on Shattuck for some essential oils.
: the lady asks if we would like to see the back of the store where all her "homemade" things are.
:megan laughs and says, quite seriously, "oh no...my eucalyptus leaves are drying out.."

fourth note: moving out of a house you've been living in for the past six years is a pain in the ass.

final note: you're in china. you're in russia. you're in Italy. you're in brazil, and YOU, my friend are in paris.