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mountainous heathen!
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holly girl jennyman cyrus boyk sina boy robert reich honey jaan Prufrock If Afraid So Today's poem |
~ Tuesday, May 10, 2005
speechless pedersen's last lecture was heartfelt. he did silly things. he threw handfulls of candy at the crowd while saying, "i will not be held responsible for this!" the "craziest" we've seen him get all term long. he talked about his philosophy. talked about his craze for ingredient labels. told us to get outside and enjoy the gorgeous weather. then,..ten minutes before the end, he said he prepared a little presentation he'd like to show us because after all, "we have been together for a year now." pictures he'd taken himself of everything from snails to mountainous views (and heathens) played to a song i don't know the name of. along with ofcourse all the molecules of the day associated with each picture. he said he hopes that we always keep our minds and our arms wide open. very touching. we gave him a standing ovation which lasted well over 9.30. kids from the next class came in and watched on, and pedersen, well, he got real shy and waved his hands around like a fool, like any of them do if they're not completely heartless. and he got tears in his eyes, and to tell you the truth so did i. not surprising, considering how i worship that class. but it wasn't just me. after we stopped cheering and clapping, we stopped, all 550 of us, in silence, and just stood. and he stood there too. i've never heard such loud silence in pimentel before. and no one would leave for a very long moment. then we all looked at eachother in puzzlement of what to do next. we piled out like a herd of sheep, let loose by the shepard. always the moment of wonder of what we will do without the shepard, and the inevitable following moment that brings us down to earth; of trust in our shepard that he knows what he's doing; that he's done the best and that we'll be alright; of freedom and a sense of will. him, standing like stonewall, and we the sheep, looking back every once in a while. like we do. ~ Saturday, May 07, 2005
as the man across the way trims his bonzai tree you know, i was just thinking, if i weren't so against it, i'd love to go into the world of advertising. it's so promising, because you could go in any direction you wanted. and i feel like it's such a strong type of artwork, because it has to be concise, it was to get to you very quickly. last night i had a dream that my mom was very angry at me. because i didn't send her anything for mothers day and what she really wanted, (my actually being with her) i couldn't give her. somehow in the dream that carried to her being unhappy with my performance in my classes. :) very telling of how i feel. and maybe how she feels. but what i thought was the most interesting was how we reconciled our "differences." this was in the next shot, when we were out in a prairie or desert of some kind, and we saw the moon in a very peach lazy red moon carpet of sky. and then we noticed that there were two moons (like in star wars), and then the more we looked around and focused, we saw more reflections of these moons. and so it was really cool and she wasn't mad anymore. i picked a rose that has that very strongly subtle smell. it reminds me of her. ok, ochem time. ~ Friday, May 06, 2005
no longer these cookies are really good. and nothing will ever replace snail mail for this reason. even if it was a regular letter on regular paper, it's that assurance that only a little while ago, someone very far away was holding it in their hands. and they sent it away thinking of you. and that thought is suddenly tangible. and how rare is that. pedersen tells us to relax. i can't say goodbye to him. i'm not ready yet. so i won't. i'm going to go to his office after this class to say hello. maybe i won't be able to befriend him, and maybe he won't talk about cool food chem and herbs, but i will have stopped by. to give him his bowl. to say his class meant a lot to me. studying for finals will be good. elders come to me before drifting off to sleep, and they say just five minutes longer, sam. the unforgiving minute is filled with promises, sam. stay awake the extra five minutes. push faster up the hill to get there five minutes earlier. just push. with heart. no less. it'll be beautiful. ~ Sunday, May 01, 2005
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