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mountainous heathen!
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holly girl jennyman cyrus boyk sina boy robert reich honey jaan Prufrock If Afraid So Today's poem |
~ Saturday, November 11, 2006
leaving the campus looks different every time i walk through it, mainly because i am different every time. i used to wonder how i will ever leave it, much like how i will ever leave berkeley or its people. but i see now that that is a mood point. the leaving is easy. in many ways, i've already left, i think. i've said my goodbyes already, though i haven't hugged any trees goodbye. my favourite tree in front of lsa wasn't exuberent this year. it did not flourish the way it did last year. after all, year to year, the tree can't perform for us the viewers. and so i like it this way more in a way. it is being itself, variable. and so when i was coming home tonight, the campus reminded me of my elementary school in 3rd grade. i'd get there at 7 am one year because my parents had to work early, and i'd come home at dusk. and so i'd walk around watching my oblong shadow in front of me, and i recall thinking that this school was my home. i wake up to this campus, i sleep with it. i have walked through it, laughing and crying. i have walked through it at daybreak, at dusk, at midnight and afternoon. it is home to me the way the swirls on my sheets are home to me. and so the leaving will not be as dreaded, because i am half the walk itself. i am half the bridge and staircase leading up to giannini. though they will not miss me, it will not be the same without a passerby sitting there starring up at the trees that protect her. without me, it is only a stone staircase, only a bridge over a creek. ~ Wednesday, November 08, 2006
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